From the mind of The Savage Bastard

2007-09-16T22:49:00.000-07:00

My friends. I have returned to the ranks of the inter-web-net-izens.

yeah, i got a computer. Laptop. Nice one too.

named it Cypher.

Anyways, will be around, you know the usual channels to get a hold of me.

Peace.

Wolfie.

2007-06-14T19:10:00.000-07:00

Its raining.

Its raining a lot.

torrential comes to mind.

I used to love the rain.

The cold rain , the warm, the drizzle, the big fat droplets that slash back up at you.

Good downward rain, and rain that comes at you from the side.

Rain used to be my love, my life, my home.

Now...its just rain.

A thing, just a name.

But when you are in the rain.

No one can see the tears.

2007-06-06T12:08:00.000-07:00

The Scythe bring the Harvest.
Slingblade.
Reaperman.
Another Black Rose Born.

2007-06-04T08:03:00.000-07:00

Angels spiral, scream and fall first.
But I'm still here.

Watch as the greed webs and spins into form.
The Form of One.

Edward smile. then Death rains.
A Black Rose Born.

Why fucking me?

2007-05-31T16:09:00.001-07:00

Note too self.

NEVER write poetry when you are unsure of your heart.

2007-05-28T08:42:00.000-07:00

Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly, because you tread on my dreams.

--William Butler Yeats

2007-05-28T07:12:00.001-07:00

The Heat.

Smoke in the woods.

Unreadable.

Grip the fog to determine its contents.

A Creature stirs within.

Bear?

Wolf?

Man?

The Heat.

Something devours itself.

2007-05-23T04:27:00.001-07:00

We spin 'round.
Never Stop.
Reeling and Weaving.
'round till we drop.
This Devils Dance.
a Prison Cell.
Legs begin to ache.
Who can we tell?

2007-05-22T16:16:00.000-07:00

Broke my phone.

Got a New one.

Same number.

Call me. Txt me.

Something.

Because I am only answering for strange numbers for the next 48 hours.

After that, you SOL Broddah.

2007-05-09T23:05:00.000-07:00

How does one be alone.

and not Feel lonely?

A mystery I still yearn to solve.

So many people tell me that it comes form being at ease with yourself, your inner person.

Some tell me it comes from being at ease with your spiritual facets. Feeling the Devine.

And some more simply tell me it comes from practice.

I am here to say, I am one of the few people I know who can look inside, and actually see and accept me, all of me. The Good, The Bad, The Past, The Pains, The Future, The Joys.

all of it. I love and accept it, because its me.

And i like me, call me vain if you like. But its the truth. I like me.

As for faith. Well...if you are reading this, you read before. And you know of my faith.

And I have been alone for over a year now.

Practice, I got.

so....Fuck.

2007-05-02T05:52:00.001-07:00

Oh listen three sons of Hypnos.

Of your ranks, I despise you all.

Phobetor..... Phantasos....

Morpheus ....

Fuck you Morpheus...

2007-04-30T14:24:00.001-07:00

If we could, which would we rather see?
Age-old distillate, infant tears of the earth,
Or gem-like crystal of the inner walls
Harboring them like some fair reliquary?

2007-04-26T06:06:00.000-07:00

Oh how I wish
For soothing rain
All I wish is to dream again
My loving heart
Lost in the dark
For hope I`d give my everything
Oh how I wish
For soothing rain
Oh how I wish to dream again
Once and for all
And all for once

Wolf my name forevermore

2007-04-21T04:41:00.001-07:00

I wish I had an angel
For one moment of love
I wish I had your angel
Your Virgin Mary undone
I'm in love with my lust
Burning angel wings to dust
I wish I had your angel tonight

Last night...

2007-04-18T04:53:00.000-07:00

Last Night, I sat with an ederly gentleman at the Local Denny's.

He apperently sits there everynight. He sets up a chess board. And sits, he will read, or doodle. But sometimes people sit down and play with him.

The waitress told me he usually has regular students from the local college show up to play him. And his son comes down ever sunday from Tulsa to play.

And some nights the servers play.

Some nights...no one plays.

But he is there, Every Single Night.

So I played him. From 8....

Till 2

We talked. we played. We...were.

Around 1, the talk went towards religion. He is Church of Christ. But, as most old guys are, he was pretty...philisophical on the point. Faith that is.

He asked me where I stood on god.

And I answered.

And he asked where I stood on heaven and hell...

And I answered.

He asked me about sin, and what I thought of it.

And I told him, all sin. EVERY bit of it. Comes from one thing.

Thinking of people, as things.

ALL of it, every sin, crime, slight, or anything. Stems from thinking of people, as things.

A little while later, he asked me what I would do if instead of having to take a leap of faith, I saw undeniable proof, with my own two eyes, that Jesus existed.

I thought on it, telling him full well that I needed to think a bit and to just continue playing.

I thought about who I am, How I treat my faith now. Which...as it stands is less a religion and a guideline of life. Which is WHY I am a witch.

And...I realized something. And I told him what it was.

If I ever saw Jesus, really saw him with my own two eyes, it would be like a fever in me.

If I thought there was an almighty Christ/Jesus/Lord who gave two fucks about people like the bible says. That Watched us like a father, loved us like a mother....

There would be no room for "Well, there are two sides to every aguement you know.." Or, "Well, we have to respect the other faiths."

You would not see me just...being NICE and telling myself it would all turn out ok, not with that flame burning inside me like an unforgiving Sword.

Christians dont sacrifice people. They dont burn people at the stake. Not any more.

But you see, THAT is what true faith is. Sacrificing yourself, one day at a time, over and over to the Flame.

Living it. Speaking it. Knowing it. Being it.

Breathing the Soul of it.

Because THAT is faith.

Everything else...is just being nice.

And when I saw evil, or sinful. There would be no standing around with my arms crossed saying "Well thats a tricky debate"

There would be no debate.

There is no debate.

Then I realized. I am that way. I am on fire. I am a Light of the Goddess, as her child. She is my Mother, my father, my love.

MY soul MY Blood.

This is my path, and I walk it. And it only works, because even though the Goddess does give two fucks.

And she does Watch like the Father, and love like the Mother.

She doesnt lay down laws, she doesnt restrict.

she says one thing. "Harm None, Do what thou Wilt"

Read that again.

Read it a third time.

Think on it a while.

Its not just what the words mean by themselves...its more.

And when you get that...you know WHY I am so on fire. WHY I will help ANYONE who asks.

And you will know why MY sword in MY heart is Ever sharp. and ever sheathed.

So Mote it Fucking Be...

"This I Choose To Do"

2007-04-16T04:48:00.001-07:00

"This I Choose to Do...

If there is a price, this I choose to pay. If it is my death, then I choose to die. Where this takes me, There I choose to go.

I Choose.

This I choose to do."

Witches live on the edges of things.

Balance.

The Balance is key. When your mind is balanced, like the fulcrum. You become the pivot to all things around you.

One side goes up, one goes down.

The center experiences neither.

I am me. I am of the trees and of the Shadows.

I tell the hills what they are, every day. I hold them in my Bones. I hold them in my Heart.

I am A Witch of this Land. It tells me who I am everyday. I am in its Rocks. I am in its Streams.

I make my Hat of the skies, and my Cloak of the wind.

And I walk in the Midnight.

Edges. Of time, of space, of land, of love, of spirit, of life...of death.

Because edges are where the push of simple WILL, can change the course of it all.

A full moon can only wane. A New moon can only Wax.

But a Half moon...

Well....you get the Idea.

See you on the Edges....

2007-04-04T18:16:00.000-07:00

When I was younger, my dad and I used to talk alot.

He was in the Navy during the first part of my life, and continued to hold para-military carreers long after that. He also went to college in the down time, he was a history Major.

When I was 8, I got to stay with him for a longer time then usual. He was working for complany that protected factories when union workers went on strike. He was a Tac Team Commander, and he used the things he learned in history, about the greeks, and the spartans and how they used their sheilds. He taught his men how to work as a unit, using techniques severel hundred years old.

And when I was with him, he taught me. He taught me how when you are on the line, your left arm protects the man to your left, and your right strikes out for the man on your right. How each man is neither the weakest or the strongest link. The chain as a whole is not measured link by link, but together as one.

I listened as he spoke. And he would have me hold his big plexiglass sheild. I could barely lift that thing then...

He taught me about the Agoge, about The Commanche Warriors society, about all the ways soldiers had taught their young men how to become soldiers the world over.

He taught me how to use the terrain around you, he even cited the battle at Thermopoli. He told me how to use the elements, nature, weather, animals. Anything I had to overcome my opponents.

He told me about honor, discipline, justice. Brotherhood. I didnt really understand it. But I Remembered it all.

He showed me how he and his men would advance as one, and retreat as one. How each and everyone of them was important, and had to stay vigalant.

And I sat, legs mostly under that sheild, listening. Trying to memorize everything he said. Every block and move he demonstrated.

I imagined all my life what it would be like to be on that line. To train, and fight with other soldiers I knew and trusted. And to feel that rush I felt so long ago holding my fathers sheild.

When people say the movie 300 is a great movie, or a collection of senseless violence. Or whatever they say.

Its different for me.

It always will be.

And it always was.

2007-04-01T16:49:00.000-07:00

You know...sometimes I would like to live in a box of text.

You cant make text ugly, by swooping an "r" wrong. or jumbling it together. You cant make it uneven and not sit on the page right.

When I write...it does. It just doesnt sit on the paper right. Like it doesnt wanna sit and be still. Its lead or ink. And it wants to move.

I tend to doodle sometimes.

And text...you cant type so fast other people cant read. You cant jumble your words up so that you are intelligible. You can just lay it down like so much rail-road track.

Whereas when I talk...I am too fast. Or too slow. Or I just bow out.

Box's of text may be cold and empty.

But they dont judge, they are fair.

Sometimes I wanna live in a box of text.

2007-03-29T19:51:00.000-07:00

For somereason. I am very lonely right now.

I have been single for over a year, and oafter the first couple of bouts of moving on with my life....

I dunno.

I am usually a lot better then this. But...it has once again gone to the bad place.

I just need somone...

I need to be held, and I hate it because I do the holding. And I need ot be cared for, but I do the caring. I need.... to not be me. And to fix my broken head. No amount of staples or thumbtacks, duct tape or even baling wire will help. I am irrevoccably damaged. Makes getting people to care for me..difficult. Much more so beyond friend. And most people dont cuddle and watch TV as friends.

Not in my experience.

So...sad. Very much so.

But I saw 300. And what red blooded american male cant be at least a ittle bit happy with that.

2007-03-26T04:25:00.000-07:00

Lies my football coach told me...

..NO. Chicks do NOT dig scars.

So. Kinda been hanging out with this girl from work. She used to work for Panera, but the Insurance Agency next door hired her on to be a secretary. She left on good terms so she tends to come in and hang out with me while the closers are cleaning up.

Managers dont care, because she used te be panera family. And she is gone when they leave.

We werent really dating, never really kissed. but we would talk alot and flirt.

Yesterday, I was working with my sleeves rolled up. and she asked about my scars.

I told her the truth. Some were me being an idiot. Some were genuine accidents, and some of them were inflicted by someone.

Some of you know what I am saying. Some dont. Dont worry about it.

Anyways, she got this weird look on her face. And she said she was so sorry. and please dont take this the wrong way. I was a really great guy. But she "can't date damaged goods"

Yes, that was a quote. I kid you fucking not.

So, she left. I baked.

I got over all my scars and why I have them a long time ago. I went through a few years of self worth issues because of it. But I finally told myself I was gonna give it one more day of covering myself even in the hottest of the summer. One more day of wearing gloves so no one can see.

I gave myself one more day.

And nothing changed. So I i said fuck it. Its my skin.

People can bitch if they want too.

Everytime I get rejected because of them, i still get a bit shaken though...like my ground is suddenly made of dust, instead of earth. The roots cant grip.

We shall see eh?

We shall see.

Song of Two Warriors..

2007-03-19T05:54:00.000-07:00

Anyone know two Warriors who need a theme song?

3rd Strike - Into Hell Again.

It's all from the heart I say
Back down but we've come a long way
walk the path to an early grave
see so much hate and so much heartache
when we thought we've passed the 25
others left, but one more still alive
the injustice tears my eyes years of hate or life of heartache

If you ever need me I'm here
I'll follow you into anything
if you ever need me I'll be there
I'll follow you into hell again

In this world that we fight each day
it's kinda' hard to find a brother that's one in the same
heavy heart weighing on my soul
but I keep my head up bracing for the unknown
bullets fly we're no longer taking cover
we'll never die
findin' strengh in one another
as long as we stick together for life
we'll pass that hate and crush that heartache

If you ever need me I'm here
I'll follow you into anything
if you ever need me I'll be there
I'll follow you into hell again

we stand up proud and tall
refuse to take the fall
the flames are burning bright
spread fire to the fight

You can take our lives
but you can't take our pride
we'd rather die on our feet
then live on our knees
from wrong to right
a right to run our lives
it's who we care
it's the family we have started

If you ever need me I'm here
I'll follow you into anything
if you ever need me I'll be there
I'll follow you into hell again

yeah, you'll always be my brother
yeah, you'll always be my friend
yeah you'll always be my brother
my brother

What the hell.

2006-02-23T11:57:00.000-08:00

Heya People. Its been a while. I have been without internet for a really long fucking time.

Yeah. It sucked.

But I am back, and I am gonna be hangin around more often. So there you go. As for how I am doing. I am living in North OKC. Still unemployed. Which sucks. I dont really know what else to say. so hang around, you might learn somthin'

-Savage

Openning Comments.

2005-10-07T01:35:00.000-07:00

Heya. This is me. I am the Savage Bastard. You might have read my first few posts. You might not have. You might not read my posts at all. If you fall in this last category. IT DOESN'T MATTER because you can't read what I type. Anyways. Teenage Native American Male from the flyover area of the Continent. Not much else to say in this first post besides I kinda tend to speak my mind. But, you knew that.